This is a spam from Nick, inquiring about music lessons for his son. What he really wants is my checking account number and other banking information.
From: Randon Donovan (impactitall7@gmail.com)
Hello,
This is Nick Harriman,am from CANADA . My son will be coming for an holiday in the U.S.A, and I wont want him to be less busy, so I want to know if you can always come or can he come for private lesson every afternoon. just to keep him engaged in something during his stay. I will want you to get back to me with the cost of your teaching for 2 WEEKS .He will be coming to your house for an hour lesson. I have someone that will always drive him down to your house. His name is Sam, He is 16 years old. I will want you to calculate 1 hour per day from Monday-Friday 2 WEEKS and get back to me so that we can arrange on payment by Cheque Looking forward to read from you.
Regards,
Nick
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Re-spam to Nick:
Re: LESSON SERVICES NEEDED
Good Day Nick....
I am pleased to be hearing from you. You may call me the Firewalker as that is both my name and rank in the Generation of new power. I have long thought of the ways to properly educate, as have you. For my services, I will require 10 miniature goats. Of course good sir, by miniature I mean NOT BIG. So many times the term miniature can be thought of as subjective. What is miniature? You and I could talk at great lengths during our meeting about the true meaning of miniature and also of our true identities on this plane of reality. For instance, flight. But I digress. I will accept goats of 16 inches or smaller. I assure you, I do not intend to eat them. For it is them and only them who can truly see through the doorway and I intend to use them only as consultants.
Canada has long been famous for bacon. But, the bacon is really ham isn't it? I think the important thing to realize is, whatever we call it, and you and I do call it, it does not matter. For, I like the thing whether or not it can truly be called bacon or ham. What say you sir? Shall I have bacon as well with the goats of miniature status? We, you the goats, and I, shall dine on the ham of Canada, drink of the Merlot, and tell the tales of gentleman.
Well, than I say, Bravo!
Sincerely,
The Firewalker
Note: Nick did not respond to the re-spam.
I reply to spam emails. This is an exercise in creative writing. The spams posted here as well as the re-spams are all real. You are reading them they way they were received by both parties. There are a a few rules that I follow when writing them. 1. I never attack anyone or spam anyone. I only respond to spam email that I receive. 2. If I get a response to my re-spam, which I often don't, I post that here as well.
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