Thursday, September 17, 2009

Online Dating

Here is spam from someone trying to get a date. I'm not exactly sure of the scam. It was probably an invitation to a porn site of some sort. It continues the adventures of Firewalker and the Goats of Miniature Stature.

From: mabelho51@aol.com
Subject: Re:


youre really cute in your pics you should addme and hit me up on
windowslive messengar my name on its cute21girlie@hotmail.com cant wait to hear from
you soon xoxo

---

And, my response:


Hello,

Long have I awaited the moment when you would find me. Many nights spent alone and in the company of the miniature goats. Are you the one to join me in the tasks that this world permits? But also, to stay with me and be my love?

Arrangements are being made in the trans-dimensional vortex to support your journey.

A million miles would I travel for you. I have dispatched a legion of Smurfs to preparations. Hurried are their little blue bodies to welcome you to our home. The sacred spinach is on hold! Grope yourself! And, let me know of it!

But, there is the issue of trust. What shall you offer to me to prove your loyalty? Trust is often earned and not freely given. Surely, a woman such as yourself must know this. Dripping with the youth and browsing the internet in earnest are you.

No, too much is at stake to trust blindly, the tribal plans, the council. And, what of my needs? What of them?

I have had the consultations with Aurelius of the miniature goats. As he just returned from the interplanetary voyage, he has much greater insight. Returning with him is an alien life form whose name I'm told no human could pronounce. I have taken to calling him Senor Banana. He finds this agreeable enough. Senor Banana, Imperial Pontiff to the Intergalactic Fatherhood of Snazzy Pants demands you send a picture! We can go no further in negotiations until we have one.

After all, who could?

Peace and blessings,

The Firewalker


There was no response to the Re-spam.

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